Dating Tips and Advice for Men

A first date is always fraught with uncertainities. You are worried about making a good first impression, wondering what she’ll think of you, and what in the world are you two going to talk about.

But it need not be like this. You need to remember that she’s going through the same uncertainities as you and is as eager to make a good impression.

So why do two perfectly nice people, eager to like and be liked usually end up making a mess of their first date? The following tips are aimed at helping you get over the hurdles of your first few dates smoothly..

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Phone Conversations

So you have exchanged a few emails and are now interested in taking your interchanges to a more personal level. Time to take stock of some Basic Phone Etiquette:

1. Be Punctual

If you are supposed to call her, make sure that you call on time and are at complete leisure to talk to her. Also, ensure that there are no background noises or any other external disturbances. The same applies for when you have given her a time to call you up.

2. Read her profile

Not only will you get to know her interests, likes and dislikes, but also get an idea of what she’s looking for, besides a few topics for conversation. If you both have common interests, you’ll invariably find a lot to talk about, otherwise you could ask her a few leading questions about them.

3. Be Relaxed

Remember that you are at your best when you are relaxed. If you are nervous about how to begin the conversation, you could start with asking her what made her send/accept your invitation. Once you both have got past the initial awkwardness, you’ll find it easier to talk.. just go with the flow.

Tip: Smile when you pick the phone. She’ll hear the smile in your voice

4. Appreciation Works

Tell her about what got you interested in her. Be liberal with your compliments, they always work; but don’t go too over the top. Women instinctively know whether your appreciation is genuine or faked. You could compliment her on her hair style, her dressing sense, her smile, or even her voice.

5. A Little Teasing Adds Fun

A little flirting or teasing adds the fun element to your interactions and will really get her interested in you. You could tease her on some interest of hers, like her choice of movies or music, or even on her hairstyle or dressing style. But remember that there’s a big difference in teasing and making fun of someone. Also, don’t overdo it, and if she doesn’t like it, apologize and tell her that you were just kidding.

6. High Match Scores

If you two had a high match score, it means that you both complement each other’s personalities. For eg. If you are a family oriented person, its likely that you’ll be matched with someone with the same priorities as you.

7. Right Time to Call Next

On an ending note, ask her when would be the right time to call next. If however, she asks then give her a time when you will be free and able to talk at your leisure and without any disturbances. DO NOT ask for her email or phone number, she’ll give you her contact information herself once she feels comfortable enough with you.

Tip: Generally, the shorter the time between your first and second phone conversations, the more interested she is in you.

Remember these phone conversations are about getting comfortable and informal with her so that when you both meet, there is no awkwardness. If you show a genuine interest in wanting to know her, she’ll open up and talk easily to you.

Setting up a meeting point

You can ask her out on a first date after a few conversations, say 4 or more.

For the rendezvous, choose a public place such as a cafe or a restaurant. Do not propose to meet at a lonely place or arrange meetings at either her or your place. She would feel far more safer and comfortable meeting up at a neutral and public place for the first time, and it will also make you seem more trustworthy to her.

Do’s and Don’ts

DO NOT GET DRUNK. Try to avoid alcohol completely or limit it, atleast for your first few meetings. Otherwise, you might end up giving the impression that you are irresponsible and untrustworthy.

1. Dress Up

Most women will notice your dress sense more than your looks. So take some pains to look neat (no dirty nails or tangled hair please) and wear something that looks good on you. If you are not sure, you could ask some of your friends to advice you.

2. Etiquette Matters

Smile when you first meet her, it makes a first good impression. If you are meeting for lunch or dinner, brush up on your table manners. Most importantly, be courteous and chivalrous.

Compliment her on her looks or on her dress. If you learn the art of making a woman feel beautiful, you’ll never go wrong.

Tip: Take a small gift for her such as a flower or a chocolate.

3. Get Comfortable

To get over the initial awkwardness of the first meeting, you could try picking up a topic from your previous phone conversations. Cracking a joke or making a funny comment will also lighten up the atmosphere and put you both at your ease.

If she is shy, make efforts to draw her out to talk about herelf and make her feel comfortable. You could ask her about her future plans and discuss your own with her.

DO NOT talk about your previous relationships.

4. Listen

Pay attention to what she’s saying. Ask her questions but do not interrupt. Wait for a pause in the conversation to do so. Maintain eye contact, this shows that you are a confident person and also that you are interested in her.

Don’t act distracted. You need to make her feel that she is you sole focus for the time being. Switch off your mobile if necessary.

5. Picking the Bill

Ordinarily, men are expected to foot the bill. Never ask her to divide the bill, it will make you look stingy. Dividing the bill is acceptable only if she insists on it.

6. Be Concerned

Offer to drop her home if she doesn’t have her own transport, otherwise do call her later to make sure that she has reached home safely. This will give her the impression that you are caring and trustworthy.

7. Follow Up

Call her up in a day or two to tell her that you enjoyed your time together. It would also be the right opportunity to set up another date.

Some References

Do glance through these articles:

http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/dating_rules.html
http://www.ojar.com/view_3233.htm
http://www.aalize.com/date.htm
http://metromix.chicagotribune.com/dating

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