I LOVE MY JOB . . . . .

 This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next
 time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

 Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global
 Divers in Louisiana .
 He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling
 rigs.

 Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then
 sent it to radio  station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft.Wayne,

Indiana , who  was sponsoring a  worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she  won.
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 Hi Sue,

 Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
 Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know
 you've been feeling
 down lately at work, so I thought I would share my
 dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad
 after all .

 Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first
 must bore you with
 a few technicalities of my job.
 As you know, my office lies at the bottom
 of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet
 suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep
 warm is
 this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000
 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
 heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it
 down to the diver through a garden hose, which is
 taped to the air hose.

 Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've
 used it several times with no complaints.

 What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
 working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
 This
 floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like
 working in a jacuzzi. Everything was going well until
 all of a sudden, my butt started to
 itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

 Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I
 pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
 In agony I realized what had happened.

 The hot water machine had sucked u p a jellyfish and
 pumped it into my suit.

 Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
 jellyfish couldn't stick to it . However, the crack of my
 butt was not as fortunate.

 When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
 actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

 I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
 communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
 along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

 Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed
 to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
 thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
 chamber
 dry decompression.

 When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing
 but my brass helmet.

 As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears
 of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and
 told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
 chamber.

 The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for
 two days because my butt was swollen shut.

 So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think
 about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up
 your butt.
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 Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my
 job, I love my job."

 Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a
 jellyfish bad day?

 May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!